


pop-tarts

by HyperchaoticStarlight (MVPYurio)



Series: i'll be around for you [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Humor, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Thor (Marvel) Loves Pop-Tarts, Thor learns about earth stuff, wait that’s a tag?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-01 18:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15779442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MVPYurio/pseuds/HyperchaoticStarlight
Summary: “Alright, people, moment of truth. The great and mighty Thor, god of thunder, King of Asgard, intergalactic asshole, is going to try his first ever Pop-Tart.”Sam educates Thor on a very important piece of Earth culture.





	pop-tarts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [whichlights](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichlights/gifts).



> Prompt from witchlightsands on Tumblr: “Something with Thor and Pop-Tarts.”
> 
> So apparently Thor eats pop-tarts like, in one of the Thor movies or something. I literally don’t remember a single thing about any Thor movie except a few details of Ragnarok (specifically, the details that involve Bruce Banner), so here we are. –Lia

“Okay, so then I took the Pop-Tarts—”

“Hold on.” Thor held up his hand. “I have been following this story decently enough, and it is very funny, but I am still confused. What exactly are these things you call Pop-Tarts?”

Silence. Dead silence. Even Tony and Bruce stopped giggling to each other like teenagers.

“You’ve never had a Pop-Tart?” Sam asked incredulously.

“I am not from your world,” Thor reminded him.

“Yeah, yeah, Asgard, whatever. Guys, he’s never had a Pop-Tart. We have to fix that.”

“We do?” Natasha asked.

“Uhhhh, yeah? What’s the point of being the Avengers, Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, all that, if we can’t even save our own from the horrors of Pop-Tart ignorance?” Sam stood up, putting his hands on his hips. “I’m going to the store to get Pop-Tarts. If you want any say as to what flavors Thor tries, or if you want any yourself, come with me.”

“I’ve never had a Pop-Tart before either,” said Steve.

Sam put a hand on his heart. “You poor, poor thing. Come with me.”

~~~~

“Holy shit,” said Tony. “That’s a lot of Pop-Tarts.”

“Well, we’ve all seen how much Thor eats,” said Sam as he and Steve put their five full shopping bags on the table.

“Fair enough.”

“We all but bought out the store,” said Steve. “Sam wanted to actually buy the store out, but I wouldn’t let him.”

“Steve Rogers, eternal voice of reason,” Natasha quipped. “Well, are we doing this or not?”

“Absolutely,” said Sam. “Tony, are you one of those assholes who has like ten toasters?”

“Actually, we only have one,” said Bruce. “Pretty sure it can toast four of those things at a time.”

“Alright then,” said Sam. “Time to show these poor sheltered children the light.”

~~~~

The time had finally come.

Steve had tried a few different varieties and had decided that his favorite was the frosted strawberry. Now it was time for Thor to try his first Pop-Tart.

“Alright, Thor, which one are we starting with?” Sam asked, putting forth a small myriad of freshly-toasted Pop-Tarts.

Thor examined the plate and eventually pointed at one of the pastries.

“Ah, yes, the Frosted Wild Berry,” said Sam. “A good choice.”

“How the  _ hell  _ do you know what flavor that is?” Tony asked incredulously.

“Tony, I’m a Pop-Tarts enthusiast. A connoisseur.”

“A fucking weirdo,” Tony whispered to Bruce. Bruce elbowed him in the side. “Ow!”

“Alright, people, moment of truth,” said Natasha. “The great and mighty Thor, god of thunder, King of Asgard, intergalactic asshole, is going to try his first ever Pop-Tart.”

“I resent that last one,” Thor muttered. He picked up the Pop-Tart, took a large bite… and immediately spit it out.

“Whoa!” Steve drew his shield and hid himself under it just in the nick of time.

“Now  _ that  _ is majestic,” said Tony, motioning to the great vibranium shield of Captain America, now splattered with chewed-up bits of Frosted Wild Berry Pop-Tart. “Stunning. Truly beautiful.”

“Okay, okay, so he didn’t like that one,” said Sam. “Try another one. They all taste different.”

“That’s an idea,” said Thor. “Or, I could just do this.” He held out his hand to summon Mjölnir and raised it.

“Don’t you dare,” Bruce warned. “Those are nice plates.”

“Sorry, Banner, but this plate has been tainted by evil,” said Thor, and he brought the hammer down. Bits of Pop-Tart flew everywhere once more, this time hitting almost every Avenger, including Thor himself.

“That was highly unnecessary,” Bruce muttered.

“Thor, you’re vacuuming all of this up,” said Tony. “And do it soon, before I get critters.”

“Fine, fine,” Thor said casually. “And what about the table?”

“What about the—” Tony looked down to see that the glass coffee table had been completely destroyed.

“Sorry,” Thor said sheepishly.

“God damn you.”

**Author's Note:**

> This series is brought to you by Lia (she/her, HyperchaoticStarlight) and James (they/them, TheMagicMicrobus). We try to update about every 2 weeks. However, we are both students (Lia is in college; James is in high school), and so we cannot promise perfection.
> 
> Find Lia on Tumblr @ hyperchaoticstarlight, marvel-at-these-gays, scienceshipping, and tinytonys.  
> Find James on Tumblr @ themagicmicrobus and morethanhumantogether.
> 
> If you have ideas for this series, please feel free to reach out to one of us and we will consider putting it in!


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